Arachnophobe Meet Spiders – In The Worst Possible Way

Everytime I write an article like this I always feel as if people are reading it thinking, “yeah right.”
I feel that way because if I was reading it I would probably be thinking just that.

As you all know by now I am a jinx. I’m not talking a bit of bad luck here and there.
I mean my life is a mash up between a comedy and a soap opera.
It’s as if I was created purely for entertainment purposes.

Before I jump straight in to this one I feel a bit of background information is needed!

Firstly, I am an arachnophobe, when I say that, I mean it. I am terrified of the creepy crawlies!
I quite literally can’t even bring myself to walk into a room if it is inhabited by one!

Personally, I don’t kill any living being but even if I did, I physically couldn’t bring myself to get close enough to do it.
I can’t even find the words to describe how strongly I feel about them.

I guess that means I’m perfect for the whole Arachnophobes meet spiders series.

Which is good for you guys but not so much for me because I found myself in a real life Arachnophobes meet spiders scene.

A yellow and black striped spider with a plump body and long thin legs hanging on a fruit branch with leaves and some kind of round yellow fruit

My Arachnophobes meet spiders experience took place at 8:00am on a Tuesday morning.
I was driving along trying not to fall asleep, standard.
I was listening to a bit of little mix, casually going about my business.

The next thing I know, I’m witnessing the opening of the gates to hell before my very eyes.

I’m sure I heard a little ‘pop’, as thousands and I mean thousands, of baby spiders began launching themselves at me.

So when I say my Arachnophobes meet spiders experience I mean just that. Quite literally arachnophobes meet spiderS emphasis on the S.

I apparently didn’t notice the hidden spider sac behind my steering wheel.

Now I don’t know if these things think the first living creature they see is mummy or what.
However, I do know that shy they are not.

2 photo collage of yellow baby spiders sat on a black dashboard and steering well of an old car. One spider has a pink arrow pointing to it
Actual photo taken from my very own Arachnophobes meet spiders documentary.

These tiny spawns of Satan decided the best thing to do was to use me as some kind of climbing frame.

Not only was I driving alone, I was also driving in front of a people carrier full of children and babies.

Obviously because of this, I couldn’t drive my car into a wall and pray for an explosion.

I had to drive for almost FIVE WHOLE MINUTES whilst covered in spiders. That’s right my Arachnophobes meet spiders experience went on for FIVE MINUTES.

Have you ever had spiders climbing inside your nose and your ears simultaneously?

I have.

I felt like I was in the I’m a celeb jungle except I wouldn’t be receiving compensation for my trauma.

By the time I arrived at a safe place to evacuate my vehicle it was already too late. Way too late…

Let me tell you, you can shake like a wet dog, stop drop and roll. You can even start taking off as many items of clothing as your dignity will allow.

You will still be, to put it bluntly, fucked.

You may be surprised to know I actually managed to save them, they are now happily going about their everyday lives.

Possibly looking for the huge mummy who abandoned them at the side of the road like trash.

Now I’ve just wrote that I genuinely feel sad and a little guilty at the thought. Damn me for being such an emotional mess at life.

So there you have it. A real life Arachnophobes meet spiders situation. There was no cameras and it wasn’t set up it was just my worst nightmare come to life.

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10 Comments

    • Sarah

      It is literally one of my mine to the point I used to have nightmares about being covered in spiders!!! It’s ridiculous how bad my luck is ✋?. Really glad my stories cheer you up though xx

  • Evelyne

    Aaaaah as an arachnophobe par excellence, I could barely read this! I was fearing the worst the whole time – and it happened. Just yesterday a huge spider dropped down from above the door I was trying to open with my hands full and it took all my self-control not to drop everything and run screaming. Can’t imagine how you were able to handle spiders (plural!) while driving!
    Glad you were able to evacuate them – stay strong haha!

    • Sarah

      Honestly if I didn’t experience and just read a story like this I would say the same! Like you said you manage to stay completely controlled and not run screaming I think instincts kick in and take over. Hearing about it is awful but being in it you just had to deal ?. Hands down my worst nightmare I used to have nightmares about being covered in spiders the fact it happened is unbelievable!!!

  • Angel

    This sounds like a serious nightmare.. I have arachnophobia too and only reading about it gives me the creeps and the itchies. Good thing you arrived safely! I don’t know what I would have done in your position. Probably scream uncontrolably, put the car to the side, sprint out and NEVER geet inside again before someone has checked it thouroughly for spiders!

  • Juhita

    I am not an arachnophobe but that would be a nightmare for me too, and I think pretty much anyone. Kudos to you for driving on for five whole minutes with those spiders crawling on you.

  • Frertsu

    OMG
    I think I would have a heart heart attack right there and then. It’s like a worst nightmare coming to life! Love your writing style by the way~

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