My Own Personal Method! A Quick How To For When You Need To Boost Your Self Esteem
I’m going to be real with you here. There are billions of people on the planet. Im sorry to have to break it to you if you have a God complex but.. Ultimately, we are all the same, we all bleed red blood. I remember very clearly how I always used to compare and judge myself and my life based on other people. How they look, their careers, life choices the list is endless. I know all too well how self conscious and quite frankly, shit it can make you feel.
Today class we are going to be focusing in on our physical appearance. Like I said, we are all human beings, all the same. We all have the same features and parts which makes it very easy to start wishing we looked like somebody else. For example,
“Why can’t my ears be like theirs? We all have ears but theirs are better.”
Having those thoughts is actually a very common occurrence and sometimes we just need a quick way to boost self esteem.
I have lost count of the amount of times I have heard something along the lines of,
“My nose looks so much bigger compared to other peoples.”
My instant reaction is always the same, I automatically respond with,
“Don’t do that.”
You see I have been down that rabbit hole, the journey is awful and the destination is even worse.
It’s surprising, how often I’m asked,
“Don’t do what?!”
People don’t seem to register the fact that they aren’t just talking about a personal insecurity that they have.
They are actually comparing themselves to another living, breathing human being. Someone who has their own fears and insecurities.
Something that regularly goes unnoticed is the fact that often in these situations, it’s not only you that suffers.
When you are making these types of comparisons between yourself and another person, whether you realise it or not, you are opening a very dark door. That door leads to a horrible place called jealousy and I can tell you, that is nowhere good.
Jealousy can eat away at you, it will damn well swallow you whole if you let it. Causing a lot of pain, hurt and damage along the way. The pain we inflict in this process can not only affect ourselves but also the person who is the focus of our jealousy.
It can make you behave in a negative manner, where you are unintentionally, or if being honest, intentionally, cruel. Maybe simply just noticeably distant towards the person you are jealous of.
It’s frequently the case that a person doesn’t even realise they are doing it, I didn’t that’s for sure. So lets be honest here, do they really deserve that? purely because they just happen to exist?
When we compare our appearance to others we tend to instantly focus on the features we have already got insecurities about.
I personally, was always self conscious about my complexion my dark features, eyes and my ears. Im a rubbish version of snow white. My eyes look like an anime character and my left ear doesn’t have any cartilage. I was born with it folded inside itself. Because of this my left ear feels like jelly and noticeably sticks out. Being aware of this ‘flaw’ meant the first thing I would take notice of would always be a person’s ears.
Just to let you know i’m over it now, if you see me in person feel free to ask to feel it. It’s actually pretty fun to play with, it wobbles about like jelly and everything.
Getting back to the subject at hand, This is a simple trick that I and many other’s around me who I explained this tip to used to boost self esteem. It’s easy to accomplish, all you have to do is make a subtle change to your physical appearance.
The bottom line is, I want you to be happy with yourself just as you are. However, even I will wear make up and accessories to feel my best aka stop feeling like an ogre.
My advice might sound a little daunting but bare with me.. Usually when you are unhappy with your appearance in some way you try to become invisible, you tend to hide away. Unless you are harry potter that isn’t going work. Attempting to replicate the traits of a chameleon, wanting to blend in with your surrounding’s and be unnoticeable? Well thats not always the best solution.
I have learnt that all this does it make the problem worse.
As shit scary as it may sound, instead of hiding you should aim to stand out a little. When you are slightly different from the crowd your uniqueness becomes your main focus. It can stop you from thinking about what you believe are your ‘flaws’. Preventing you from making so many comparisons to your insecurities. Your mind tends to start focusing more on your new look. You begin to see things differently and others tend to notice it turning it into a positive topic of discussion.
Although I can’t say I’ve ever had someone march up to me asking why my ear resembles a wing it’s still nice to have an ice breaker just incase.
I invented this plan of action myself so not only will you notice it’s previously unheard of, it may also seem a little mad.
You Need To Invent A Trademark.
What’s a trademark exactly?
A trademark is something a business will use to create a brand and to stand out from the crowd. For example, it can be a logo or a phrase, anything really.
How is this going to help?
We are going to take that idea and alter it a little to use it as a way to boost your self esteem.
I want you to use it for your personal appearance. Like I said, a business will use it stand out. You are going to think of something that is slightly out of the ordinary or even just a little unusual for you specifically. It can be as simple as bright red lipstick. Or, it can be a bit more extreme like a blue stripe in your hair.
It is your trademark and entirely your choice. As long as you are happy with it and like the look yourself, that’s really all that matters. Personally I wouldnt get a nipple sewn to my head but to each their own and all that.
My Personal Experience
I used to work in retail, this consisted of a gender neutral uniform. It was black and lime green, baggy and out of shape. My figure back then was more beanpole that voluptuous curves. I felt and looked like a prepubescent boy which isn’t personally how I like to look. Put it this way a lovely old couple was trying to find an item one afternoon, behind me I heard,
Put it this way a lovely old couple was trying to find an item one afternoon, behind me I heard,
“Ask that young man!”
After I turned around,
As you can imagine my self esteem took a nose dive. I wanted to look more feminine but also remain professional. That was when I invented my ‘trademark’. I chose to add flowers to my hairstyles.
This was a good choice because not only did I feel more feminine, a lot of the customers would comment on it. The older gentlemen would tell me stories. Their wives would wear flowers in their hair when they would go on dates many years ago.
They’d tell me I reminded them of their youth and took them back to a happy time. Especially those who sadly no longer had their wife around.
Not only did I feel more confident with my appearance I also had the pleasure of putting a smile on a another’s face. Strangers commenting on it also made me feel really good about myself.
You’d be surprised how many people are kind enough to compliment a complete stranger. It’s a heart warming and incredibly effective way to boost your self esteem.
So you see what you need to do? Find something unique to you, that will work for your specific needs then fucking rock it. I was desperate to feel more feminine that is why I chose the ‘trademark’ I did.
This technique really did work for me and I truly believe it can work for you too. Give it a try and see how you get on. It will be a really fun process thinking of your very own trademark! It will also give you a great excuse to buy yourself a few gifts to play around with when choosing!
What sort of trademark do you have in mind?
To stay up to date and to get all the latest tips on building your self esteem and beating social anxiety disorder you can now follow me!