Its something I have heard a lot and it happens more frequently than you would think..
You love your family and friends, you respect their thoughts and feelings, their opinion matters to you. So, what exactly do you do when they aren’t fond of your partner? This is a tough, hurtful situation, one many of us find ourselves in at one time or another.
The first thing you should do is see it from their point of view. The best way to do this is to sit down together, talk and fully understand the situation. There are two important questions you should ensure you get the answers to..
What is it about your partner that are they unsure of?
What are there fears and worries regarding your relationship?
Once you have the answer to those questions you can start to reassure them and hopefully put their fear to bed.
Remember, these are the people who are either connected to you by blood or you have actually chosen to have in your life. This means you have always loved and respected them. You should listen to their concerns and take them seriously, after all they wouldn’t have them if they didn’t love and care for you.
Another thing to bare in mind is that, often those around us see the things we can find ourselves blind to. If you’re dating a dickhead there’s a good chance they will realise before you do.
Once you have cleared the air, you can then decide which route this situation needs to take.
There is really only two ways this scenario can go. If the concerns they have raised, carry some weight such as information they have which you were unaware of, you will obviously need to solve those issues.
Providing all has run smoothly and its a simple issue, such as a clash of personalities then you can move on to rectifying the situation. At the very least, making it more comfortable for all involved. I have put together three simple, easy ways in which you will have to be fair and firm yet understanding.
I know it may sound odd to thank them when they have been acting in a way you feel is unfair and maybe even inappropriate. But, you must remember why they are doing it. You aren’t being grateful for them being a judgemental jackass towards your new love! You are in reality thanking them for caring enough about you to take such an interest.
Explain how the cold shoulder they are giving your partner makes you both feel. They probably don’t even realise they are upsetting you. Help them to understand the impact it is having on you and your relationship. Not forgetting to mention the fact it may soon cause problems between yourselves if it isn’t resolved.
Finally you must be firm, not cruel and argumentative, definitely don’t start spitting venom, just firm and honest. They need to know you appreciate how much they care for you and look out for you. Although, ultimately, you are the one living your life. It is your future and your relationship and the final decision rests with you.
Remind them that your other half is now a part of your life as are they and there is room for them all. Friends can often feel jealous of a new partner taking up your time. Getting along is a must, even if it is just out of respect for yourself. Make sure you aren’t neglecting the people around you. They have been there for you and probably always will be, to ensure that, you have to treat them right.
Please bare in mind it may take a while for everything to settle and a new routine to come into place. Rest assured, in most cases, time and effort from everyone involved will ensure both. You also must remember that as human beings we don’t always get along with everyone. It doesn’t mean that all future interactions have to be bitter and outright uncomfortable for all involved though.
No matter how different they are all of the individuals within this predicament have at least one thing in common. They all love and care about you. Tolerating each other should be something they will all be willing to agree upon, even if it is just for your sake.