Did you know you can think your sick away? What a fucking revelation I’ve got for you today. Disease elimination is possible. You can cancel all of your future medical appointments and throw away your medication. Oh yeah, didn’t you know? You can solve all of your ailments with the power of positive thinking.
You see it’s all about your mindset. You aren’t really sick you just think you are. That my dear friends is the key to disease elimination.
Praise the Lord, Jimmy from Basingstoke who has no medical background or prior experience has saved us all. How has this been hidden from us for so long? Why haven’t the specialists and medical professionals who dedicate their lives to treating patients told us this gem before? Why are we wasting our time getting our illnesses under control when complete disease elimination is possible?
All those hours I’ve wasted hugging the shitter in the fetal position whilst I choke on my own vomit.
Disease elimination is the future and it’s in our sights.
Oh no, wait I’m starting to worry about this miracle cure… Now I think about it, never in the history of human existence has anyone thought themselves “cured”. But it must be true right because the modern day Dr Jekyll and Hyde wannabe told me so?
Eurgh, okay enough I cannot entertain this ridiculous notion for a minute longer, even sarcastically.
For the think yourself better crew out there please do enlighten me on why we have jabs to prevent killer diseases? Because going by your ever so intelligent suggestion, things like measles or meningitis should no longer be in existence, right? Our ancestors would of beat that bitch by singing a happy song? After all that’s how it works right? If illness is all in our heads then thinking that shit away means we are capable of the unimaginable? Total disease elimination?
How about you practise what you preach? Get your hands on the mouldiest rotten food you can find and then scoff it. When that food poisoning kicks in don’t seek medical advice, get into your power stance and you think that fucker away.
Oh right so that’s not how it works? Do tell, how is it possible to beat certain diseases with positivity but not others? Colour me confused.
Let’s just cut the crap, shall we? You don’t think we can cure ourselves with positive thinking at all do you? You just don’t believe we are sick in the first place. What is it exactly that makes you feel that way? Do we not fit into your ideology of a ‘sick person’? Do we not look the part? Maybe we haven’t walked this earth for long enough? Or maybe just maybe you are an ignorant prick.
I didn’t go through years of emotionally and physically painful tests to get diagnosed with recognised diseases by medical professionals. Professional’s who have dedicated their entire lives to this shit, to have some wanker from Woolwich sit in his teepee and tell me it’s all in my head. Get the fuck outta here.
Positive mental attitude is something I wholly agree with, it can do wonders for you. However, sadly it won’t get rid of your STD. That embarrassing doctor’s trip will still be a necessity no matter how many happy songs you sing.