Men’s Mental Health.
I have noticed something recently.. Positive body image and low self esteem for guys doesn’t seem to be a very popular topic of discussion. I know men as a general rule tend to be less open with their feelings but I strongly believe it isn’t always the best way forward. I get it you want to seem ‘manly’ but let me tell you, it takes guts to be honest about your feelings
I have banged on before about my own struggle with insecurities and low self esteem so it’s pretty common knowledge.
I know personally, issues like this tend to be suffered in silence. I didn’t use to spill my guts to all and sundry online. We all know there’s a stigma around problems that stem from mental health. Especially insecurities regarding our physical appearance. That begs the question what are men to do in this situation?
There is a lot of discussion for women on the matter. For example, women’s magazines promoting unrealistic body expectations is a very popular topic of conversation. Probably because those expectations are a complete fucking joke but thats neither here nor there. The fact remains there is very little conversation about the same issues regarding men.
I can’t quite understand that myself as men aren’t robots created in a lab devoid of any feelings or emotions (well I don’t bloody think you are anyway?!). Men suffer the same struggles as women in this scenario.
I don’t normally aim my articles at a specific gender, I like to keep them neutral so that everyone feels welcome. However, as you can see this post is titled, low self esteem for guy’s. There’s a reason I am breaking my own rule on this one. I feel, that men are probably used to seeing this sort of discussion aimed specifically at women. That may mean they won’t have the courage to get involved unless it’s otherwise specifically stated.
Before we delve to deeply into this I first want to assure you all that if you are unhappy with your physical appearance don’t be embarrassed. The things you worry about in yourself? Most people don’t give a fuck about. We’re selfish creatures. There is absolutely no reason to feel ashamed or self conscious because you actually have feelings. In fact women find that kinda sexy.
Okay so now you can admit you aren’t confident with the way you look, you can go on to do something about it.
I want you to understand something here.. This is the same thing I would tell you if you didn’t have a jingly jangly between your legs. In fact I do tell women this, often.
You don’t need to change a thing about yourself.
Full stop. You were created this way for a reason, the only way you are supposed to look is the way you were made to look.
Although, that being said, I won’t lie, I use various ‘tools’ To help me feel more confident and comfortable with my appearance. I love to use make up and hair accessories. What kind of person would I be if I started giving you demands which contradict my own actions? I’ll tell you what kind, a pretty shit one that’s what.
You have insecurities, you need to learn to love or at least be content with who you are. This article is focusing on solutions to help you find ways to do that by making you feel more comfortable and confident.
As I said previously this topic isn’t discussed all that much so I wanted this article to be as helpful and informative as possible. Without sounding like a broken bloody record. To try and achieve this, I decided to go straight to the source! I found myself some willing male participants to have a chat with me on the subject!
I want to start by sharing with you, a direct quote from one of the men who helped me with my research on this article,
Men think of asking for help as a weakness. Even if more men did start to feel confident enough to speak out most of them wouldn’t have a clue who to go to or where to get help from. There isn’t much for men. Everything seems to be aimed at women, guys don’t pay attention to the subject because they don’t feel included, worse they feel excluded.
Hearing this really tugged at my stone cold heart. Nobody should feel like there isn’t support out there when they need it most. It saddens me, but worryingly doesn’t surprise me, that we as human beings aren’t taking notice of this. Like I said earlier we can be selfish fuckers.
When I asked why men feel their mental health issues are so taboo, they all gave me very similar answers. It lead me to the conclusion that society is a huge factor here. Shocker huh?
I suppose it’s being bought up and pushed all my life to be manly, “man up! Boys don’t cry” it makes you believe speaking out is wrong.
Firstly guys I want state on the record, showing your emotions doesn’t make you weak. Do you have any idea how much strength it takes to admit out loud that you are struggling?
I admire anyone, male or female, who has admitted they aren’t doing so good.
The fact of the matter is if you aren’t happy with your life or even your appearance, you need to take steps to change that fact. I am going to list a couple of easy solutions that are proven to promote confidence and will also give you a feel good factor.
Boost your endorphins.
Endorphins are chemical in your brain that make you feel good. They also reduce the effects of stress and negative emotions. A couple of ways to boost your endorphins are exercising and spicy food. The spicy food thing may not be your idea of a good time and that’s okay, no one enjoys using the toilet after that experience.
Get a hobby
Starting a new hobby and gaining a new interest can make you feel more interesting. The more knowledge we have the more interesting to others we become. When you have something unique to talk about you will feel more confident opening up and joining in conversations.
Get a haircut
I’ve already admitted to using make up and hair accessories to help me feel more confident. Why not mix it up a bit? Get a new hair style? Or even a colour! A lot of men change their hair colour nowadays, it’s fun to change your look and shake things up a bit occasionally!
Why not try out fake tan? Everyone loves the summer look and fake tan gives you an instant glow, without the danger of the sun’s rays! We all like the way a real tan looks on us (unless you are me I don’t know what I’d look like with a real tan, I am either Casper white or lobster red. There’s no in-between) why not replicate that look with a spray tan!
Ultimately, there are plenty of solutions to help you feel your best.
One of the most underrated help options out there is to talk it over. I know it isn’t a guys favourite past time and it may be seen as a “woman’s hobby” but let’s face it society has done enough damage already don’t you think?
We need to drop the whole idea of ‘men need to man up’ its outdated and quite frankly, sexist. Sexism works both ways and you need to realise and remember that.
It takes a lot of courage to speak out, all it takes is that first step. Feel free to let loose in the comment section below. I reply to all comments and your bravery won’t go unnoticed.
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