Lying To Your Partner.

Before we begin I want to give a short explanation to make sure we’re all on the same page on this one.

Firstly, this article isn’t about those enormous, awful lies such as cheating. That’s a different scenario for another day.

Secondly, as I have clarified previously, I am known to be controversial at times. I don’t nonchalantly relay advice which has been chewed up and spat out numerous times, by multiple different people, purely because I know it’s popular. I will always give my honest opinion and advice. Advice I have personally investigated, researched or had previous experience with in some form.

Should you lie to your partner regarding sensitive topics, such as their appearance?

This is a sensitive topic, especially if the subject is regarding personal issues such as a persons appearance. Many people battle internally with the way they see themselves on a daily basis.

What should you do when they ask you if that new top you hate looks good?

When it comes to these situations the advice offered is usually pretty cut and dry. It’s a simple case of you either lie or you don’t.

This should be pretty straight forward right? We should all be honest, all the time about everything and anything! In a perfect world yes we should, but let’s not fuck about here.. This isn’t a perfect world. We can’t pretend life is all sunshine and rainbows because it’s not.

With that in mind, my advice on this matter is slightly different, possibly even unpopular. 

This may be slightly confusing but I suggest taking both options and mixing them together. A bit like when you were child, you know? When you were creating a mixture of some form, you would get mud and weeds and any other delightful specimen you could find scattered about the garden to throw into your concoction. Once you had your winning combination (basically run out of options). You’d chuck it all together in a big pot and mix it all up to make a potion, as if you were studying at Hogwarts.

I cant imagine any of the nonsense I’ve just rambled on about making much sense so let me give you an example.

Question
Does this shirt suit me?

Wrong answer
Not in the slightest sweetheart, you look as if you have just found a big pile of cow patt, dived in, rolled around then clambered through a hedge backwards.

Right answer
Personally I’m not a fan of the colour, but, I think a nice powdered blue would really suit your complexion.

You see? You aren’t going to damage your relationship or their self esteem. Yet, you are still being honest about the fact that you don’t like the shirt and you don’t think it suits them. You aren’t outright lying, you’re simply cushioning the truth. I am aware by doing this, you are in a way, holding back some truths. The way I see it, as long as it isn’t a piece of information that your partner needs to know, it may cause more harm to be so forthcoming.

Personally I am an advocate of honesty. I am not disagreeing with others when they suggest that you must always tell your partner the truth and to remain fully honest within your relationship. I would never disagree on that matter. What I do believe is that being ‘too honest’ is a thing and that’s when honesty crosses a line and turns venomous. I believe that line is when it becomes outright cruel and unnecessarily causes hurt. I’m not advising you to lie to your partner or the people you love and care about. My suggestion is that you use your discretion when choosing between honesty and brutal honesty.

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2 Comments

  • Maria

    I completely agree with your approach on the matter.Truth is that the more important the person is for us, the more we need them to validate and uplift us.But as two people don’t always have to agree, it’s best that they watch the way they express their opinion very carefully and make sure they don’t hurt their partner.

    • Sarah

      Thank you Maria! your comment is spot on, the world is a much more interesting place because we all have different views and opinions and you summed it up perfectly! Being considerate of others feelings when expressing different views and opinions is so important!

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